When I first became a parent a friend of mine, also a new parent, asked me, “what are you going to call your kids’ privates?”
It was a simple question, but it felt extremely loaded. I hadn't given it much thought and there suddenly seemed to be a lot to consider.
Then she told me, “My parents used to call them the bum and the front bum.” She wasn't being funny or light-hearted. It was a serious question from someone deeply invested in her child’s well-being.
That moment led to many more moments of realization that very few parents are equipped and comfortable to talk about sex and sexuality with their children. And why would they be? Most of us received awkward or minimal sexual health education at best, and harmful misinformation at worst. In a recent Canadian survey, 85 per cent of parents expressed feeling unable to effectively teach their children about sex.
So what? What are the potential consequences of using cutesy names for body parts? What difference does it all make?
Meaningful, comprehensive sexual health education has been researched extensively and has many positive impacts, including:
- Children better understand their rights and are safer from sexual abuse
- Reduced dating violence
- Fewer teen pregnancies and lower rates of sexually transmitted infections
- Delayed onset of sexual activity until later in life
Sometimes it can be difficult to think about what our children are learning and experiencing out in the world. But it's important to do so because if we aren’t giving our kids accurate, helpful information they are left vulnerable to other sources of dangerous or misleading content and advice.
Online sexual content has never been more accessible than it is today — a Canadian study reported that 98 per cent of adolescents had been exposed to pornography. The average age of first exposure was around 12 years old, and one third were exposed as young as the age of 10.
This doesn’t necessarily mean they are seeking out this content. One in five youth experience unwanted online exposure to sexually explicit material and one in nine youth experience online sexual solicitation.
As parents, we desperately want our kids to be safe, healthy and well-equipped to deal with the world around them. To support that goal, we need to think about our role in giving them the tools and knowledge they need in a quickly changing world.
It starts with thinking about our own values and our comfort in talking about sexual health information. And it continues by finding age-appropriate ways to share this with our children.
To learn more and build your capacity to have these conversations, explore teachingsexualhealth.ca and join the City of St. Albert for an informative workshop, "Empowering Parents: Navigating Sexual Health Education with Confidence" at the St. Albert Public Library next Thursday (April 24) from 7 to 8 pm. Register at www.sapl.ca.
Tuval Nafshi is Prevention Co-ordinator for St. Albert Family & Community Support Services.
