When Pascal Dumoulin’s wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021, Dumoulin realized he needed emotional support.
After Dumoulin’s wife finished her cancer treatments, he came to her with an idea.
“I wanted to start a men’s group in hope of developing some meaningful friendships,” Dumoulin said.
He clearly wasn’t alone in his thinking because a group specifically for men to connect was already underway through the City of St. Albert.
The “Menship” program started as a pilot project in the summer of 2022, and Dumoulin was one of the first members. He became involved when the city ran focus groups to determine interest in the project.
“The city developed this program after hearing in the community that men's mental health was suffering due to loneliness and the isolation of COVID,” said Emilee Neilson, a community development coordinator with the city. “So, we created Menship to help increase men's mental health and well-being.”
Any man over the age of 18 is welcome to attend the program, running every second Wednesday from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the St. Albert Food Bank and Community Village and other locations, depending on the event.
Neilson said the program attracts roughly 30-35 men per session, although it’s harder to draw participants during the summer months and holidays.
“There's somewhat of a core group, but we're also getting different men out on a consistent basis, so there will definitely be some new faces almost every week,” Neilson said.
Participants come from a variety of cultural and ethnic backgrounds, and ages range from 18-year-olds to men in their 80s.
What seems to unite them is a shared desire to build friendships and improve their mental well-being.
"We're finding that emotional support, and the friendship aspects of it have really taken off,” she said. “There's a positive role-modelling aspect to this as well, and it’s creating a lot of community.”
Activities range from physical exercise such as kickboxing and yoga, to board game nights, to mental wellness check-ins, where the men are encouraged to be open with one another about anything they’d like to share.
Participants can pick and choose which sessions to join based on their interests.
Dumoulin said he likes attending events where men can gather to “engage in deep conversations.”
“It’s really in those moments of vulnerability that you really get to know someone and see their human qualities,” he said. “I recognize that this isn’t easy for most men, but in time, they begin to trust. Once you create those safe and supportive spaces, you begin to realize something: there’s a lot of pain there, and in those sometimes brief moments of vulnerability, the healing begins.”
Dumoulin said men have a harder time when it comes to openly discussing their struggles and feelings. But he thinks groups such as Menship can help men overcome harmful demands to repress their emotions and deal with social stigma around being emotional. And he believes mental health benefits of groups like Menship get passed on to men’s families and the community at large.
Dumoulin said that like many men, he felt isolated even before COVID forced people to limit social interactions. “COVID simply amplified those feelings,” he said.
The group has some limitations, Dumoulin said.
“With participation fluctuating over the past year and a half, it’s been challenging in developing those quality friendships,” he said. “Part of it, I think, is just the nature of men. It takes some longer to trust and feel that sense of belonging compared to others.
“Since I started attending this group I’ve learned that although my life experiences and upbringing are unique to me, the systems and norms by which men are influenced by, are the same. This has allowed me to approach new friendships from a more compassionate, caring and forgiving place.”
