Before sounding off as a couple of crazy quackers, my wife and I want to assure you that we are genuine Albertans who simply love to travel. Recently, on Oct. 3, we stopped on our way south to rest in your fair city and to catch some fine dining. That's when we were surprised by one of your paparazzi. He was good. He caught us completely off guard.
Then, in your Oct. 6 edition of the Gazette, you printed, we admit, a very flattering picture of my wife Gladys and I. She, at least, was in focus. (Unfortunately, not I.) We were dining, as we love to do, at one of your best gourmet restaurants, the John E. Poole Wetland Family Restaurant. Both of us just love the duckweed green salad served there. It is especially nice as a lighter-than-water (floating) snack.
No, we weren't upset with the picture's quality. What ruffled our fine feathers was your terrible and demeaning caption. You completely erred on our surnames. How could you mistake a Gadwall for a “Mallard”? Sure, there is a resemblance but we are far nicer looking, don’t you think? Even worse, we’re in a flap over the mallard mix-up and you said we were eating ”pond scum“. How nasty and how repulsive! The owners of the John E. should be outraged!
Without a retraction and/or an apology we just may have to skip St. Albert next spring on our flight north. We may even have to tell our friends the Teals and the Scaup as well. Just so you know, the Mallards are just as upset as we are.
Gladys and George (Gabby) Gadwall as related to Dan Stoker, St. Albert
Editor's note: We would like to offer our sincere apologies to the Gadwalls and the Mallards for our mortifying mistake, and for not recognizing what was undoubtedly a delicious brunch when we see one. While we won't weigh in on the glory of the Gadwall as compared to the majesty of the Mallard, we hope our feathered friends will continue to frequent St. Albert's fine dining locations. On their next trip to the city, we would like to suggest they consider a meal (on us, of course) at one of our popular avian restaurants, the Grandin Pond Diner.
