I work in customer service part time, and this past week, experienced something I have never experienced before. A customer inquired if he could ask a question, and assuming it was about the store or a specific product, I said, “Of course.” It was then he very boldly asked, “Are you expecting?”
In the moment all I could do was laugh and assure him I was not, in fact, pregnant. However, as time went on I felt very taken aback that a stranger would ask such a personal question so unapologetically. Upon telling my friends of this encounter, I was met with comforts such as, “but you’re so thin!” and “that’s crazy, you don’t look pregnant at all!” And while, after the incident I did find myself feeling somewhat insecure, that really was not the upsetting part of the situation.
I was sure it was a well-known societal rule that one should never ask a woman if she is pregnant, however, there seems to be a larger social belief that people –particularly men – have the right to comment on women’s bodies. In fact, I have a few friends who had experienced the exact encounter I had.
This idea is hardly new; in fact I could not name a single woman I know that has not experienced cat-calling, or some other form of harassment from men. For most, it occurs before they have even gone through puberty, and it has been occurring for generations.
Many argue that honking at passing women from their vehicles or shouting profanities is simply a compliment, however I know most women would refute this argument. A compliment, I believe, is rooted in the speaker’s intent. A compliment should, therefore, make the person on the receiving end feel better than they did before. Cat-calling does not. Cat-calling is an assertion of power masqueraded by a motive of attraction.
When I am in my place of work, or walking in my city, I have a right to feel safe. Countless times, the shouts of passing men have made my friends and me feel very unsafe – even within the quiet suburbs of St. Albert.
Just because I walk or exist in a public space, it does not make my body a public space. Whether you wish to satisfy your curiosity, or pay a compliment, perhaps you should consider the larger implications of your words. I am not pregnant, and if I were, it would – quite frankly – be none of your business. I do not want your commentary at the bus stop, on campus, on the streets or in my place of work, quite simply because I did not ask for it.
Your comments about my body are unwelcome, so I suggest you keep them to yourself.
Jennifer Hamilton is a local student and writer.
