Real men bake cakes.
That's the message Reid Watson had for those who wondered why he and 24 other male students were baking and selling cakes at V.J. Maloney Junior High this week.
Bake sales aren't usually considered manly, Watson said, which is why he and his classmates did one.
"Going outside the [man] box is showing a little more manhood."
Watson, 14, is one of about 30 people taking part in the school's first-ever Men of Honour class. The Grade 9 class, which wraps up this month, is meant to explore the myths of manhood that boys feel compelled to follow. It's thought to be the only course of its kind in St. Albert.
It's had a huge impact on him, Watson said.
"I was into some bad things, and hanging out with bad people. I got back on the right path just because of that class and the guys I met."
Boy power
Ben Huising, a Family and Community Support Services worker with the City of St. Albert, is the founder and main instructor for the class.
The idea for the class started about five years ago in discussions with school councillor Kelly Lajoie. The school had started an all-girls class to build self-esteem in girls, and Huising had been holding similar, informal sessions with a group of boys during lunch.
"There's been a lot of focus on classes for girls," he said, "and rightfully so, but there's nothing offered to guys."
Boys have emotions just like girls, but society expects boys to repress those emotions — guys are supposed to be tough and funny, and are punished if they aren't.
"We put each other down, [saying] 'Don't be a girl,' or we use homophobic language."
Yet rising dropout and violence rates among young men suggest that this approach no longer works, he argued.
"There's a reason why eating disorders are rising amongst guys."
Huising and Lajoie piloted a boys-only class called Fast and Furious in January 2011 to help Grade 8 students explore these issues. The students liked it so much that they asked the school to run a Grade 9 equivalent called Men of Honour.
Vice-principal Lorne Pedersen, who co-teaches the class, said it includes keeping journals, talking circles and community activities and explores subjects such as aggression, leadership and masculinity.
The teachers focus on "taboo" subjects to get kids to think outside the "man box," said Brent Saccucci, a Grade 12 student at St. Albert Catholic High School who helps teach the class and was part of Huising's original discussion group five years ago.
"Why can't guys cry? Why do we have to put down other guy friends and call them homophobic names?"
The class gives students a place to have these discussions without fear of ridicule, Huising explained.
"Guys hurt, and it's an okay thing."
It also involves a joint session with the girls-only Girls Empowered class so students can ask questions of the opposite sex.
The class has been very successful, Pedersen said, and is drawing inquiries from across the region.
"Where was this class when I was 13?" he asked. "It really would have helped ease adolescence so much more to know that everyone felt the same [as I did]."
Changed lives
Class member Jordan Kroeker said he used to think being a guy was all about muscles and tank tops.
"When I was starting Grade 8, I wanted to be the big strong guy," he said. "I wanted to show up everyone and be cool."
But the class taught him that males don't have to have muscles to be cool.
"Just act yourself; if the people don't like yourself, they're not for you. That was probably some of the best advice I've ever gotten in my life."
The class isn't so much about teaching boys to be men, Huising said, but to be themselves. Honour is standing up for what you believe in, he said, and courage is taking the risk to open up to others.
"It takes more courage to be yourself than it does to be tough."
