The definition of what it means to be a woman has changed, but the same change hasn't occurred for men, says a University of Alberta professor and researcher.
That transformation in gender roles is key to combating domestic violence, says Amy Kaler PhD, professor in the sociology of gender and family studies.
Domestic violence or family violence is a phenomenon that can affect both genders as victims and as perpetrators, but in reality women are more likely to be victimized than men.
There are about 1,200 female victims for every 100,000 women, which is five per cent higher than the rate of violence against men, reports Statistics Canada.
Societal notions of gender inequality have a lot to do with it, says Kaler.
"Gender inequality tends to create situations in which men hold more power – financial power (and) social power in terms of status within communities. That power puts them in a position where they can enact violence … without fear of repercussions."
Gender inequality goes back to the definitions of masculinity and femininity. To be masculine means physical prowess, to dominate, take control and demand respect.
As the experiences of men and women have become more similar in recent years – in work, family and day-to-day life – what it means to be feminine and what it means to be a woman has changed, says Kaler.
"Broadening what women feel they can do, what they feel they have the right to do (has changed)," she says. "Success, high achievement in school and athletic prowess are no longer regarded as unfeminine."
Masculinity needs to have some of that "shake up," says Kaler. Work is being done by new campaigns to re-define what masculine means.
The White Ribbon campaign for example asks men to pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women and girls.
"Our vision is for a masculinity that embodies the best qualities of being human," states their mandate.
Similarly, the Don't Be That Guy campaign sends the message that sex without consent is sexual assault, urging men to take responsibility for their behaviour.
"If a man is non-violent and doesn't accept violence, it doesn't make him less of a man, in fact it makes him more of one," says Kaler.
"Historically, masculinity has been a better deal than femininity. There hasn't been the impetus to change … Understanding violence as a collective problem is something we need to address to move forward."
Traditional roles
Teaching traditional gender roles in First Nations culture is a main focus of the Circle of Safety Program in Edmonton.
The program offers 20-week courses for aboriginal men, women and children. The men who attend have typically been convicted of assaulting their partner. The women who attend have been victims and the children have witnessed abuse. The courts or child and family services mandate attendance.
"Abusive men point the finger outward and say, 'It's everybody else's fault that I lose my temper'," says Sue Languedoc of St. Albert, registered social worker and executive director of Aboriginal Consulting Services Association of Alberta.
"What the program tries to do is help them turn the finger inward and take responsibility for their thoughts, their actions and their behaviour."
In the program, men are taught that "every man comes from the womb of a woman (and) you treat that woman with respect and dignity."
Traditionally women were seen as the givers of life, explains Languedoc.
Take the structure of the teepee – the role of men is represented by the hide that wraps around the teepee, symbolic of providing and protection. The poles of the teepee represent women – the strength and stability.
"One without the other are just poles and just hide, but when they are brought together they make a sound structure where children can grow," says Languedoc.
Cultural understanding was lost in the period of residential schools and the role of women and children in the home became devalued as a result. Last year, the program even ran a pilot to teach parents how to play with their children.
Family violence is an intergenerational issue, says Languedoc.
Last year, 341 men, women and children attended Circle of Safety. Participants are welcome to re-join the program even after they have graduated.
"Domestic violence is a complicated, layered issue and it's not as simple as to say, why doesn't she leave?" adds Languedoc.
"It's a huge amount of work to admit you are the victim or the abuser – you have to have broken down your defences and your denial. It's a matter of working through your shame to reach out."
