The solution to many of the problems that plague one former St. Albert resident is to get them out of his head. Leif Gregersen does that by writing them down. Committing thoughts to paper is not just therapy; it’s his evolution.
Gregersen has been dealing with bipolar disorder for many years now. He is now a middle-aged man and his mental illness has been with him for more than half of his years. For all of that time, writing has been there to help him work through his thoughts.
“When I was in high school, I had dreams of being a writer,” he began, explaining the early days of figuring out what was necessary for his emotional and spiritual survival.
“It became something more than I ever imagined it would though,” he continued. “I started to think that I could put together something people will read and be interested in that would face the dark spectre of mental illness and even perhaps liberate me from all the pain, loneliness and guilt I felt being put into hospitals time and again, doing all these irrational things and hurting many people, especially my parents.”
In recent years, Gregersen has written books, both fiction and non-fiction. He started out with some freelance newspaper and magazine articles before he decided that he just needed to keep on writing. Even though he now works in theatre security and as a stagehand, he still has the writing bug. In his spare time he puts pen to paper and works on plying his new trade as an author.
He first penned Through the Withering Storm, an autobiographical take on his bipolar disorder. Finishing that one seemed easy, he said, so then he wrote Green Mountain Road about two young lovers.
“The novel I wrote is really what made me decide to be a writer. I wanted to prove to myself that I could write a novel,” he said.
“I see it more as a labour of love. I love to create stories that interest people. One week I sat down and wrote an entire book of children’s stories, making my niece the main character. Another time I sent my close friend of 20 years and former girlfriend a poem a day for months. I found that the work is its own reward.”
Gregersen would certainly appreciate having an audience for the fruits of his labours but what is of paramount importance to him is having the ability to communicate to the outside world all of the things that happened or are still happening within him.
“Writing about my mental illness is difficult to describe. Sometimes, when life’s aggravations get to me, I think of my writing as a way to cry out and say, ‘This is unfair! I was a good kid. I worked hard at everything. I excelled at many things.’”
Gregersen says his bipolar disorder is under control through various tools, including yoga, meditation and exercise, but writing is always there as well.
“Without all these things and a great doctor and supportive family, and of course, medication, I would be lost. I would be the filthy addict sitting on a street corner asking for change. Writing about mental illness reminds me of the importance of all the therapies I undertake.”
While he hopes to educate and entertain his readers, he also hopes to impart some form of enlightenment.
“What I would like the average reader to get out of it would be for them to perhaps look at things a bit differently,” he said.
“When I was first taken to hospital, it was in the back of a police car. I had no idea where I was being taken, and here I find out later that the provincial mental hospital was half the size of St. Albert, literally. The idea that such a place could exist to hide the ‘mental health problem’ to me almost seems akin to the internment camps Japanese Canadians were put in. Fortunately, more and more, stigmas are declining, but they have a long way to go.”
Gregerson’s book Through the Withering Storm: A Brief History of a Mental Illness is available for purchase online at www.smashwords.com.
