It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. In the cinema, however, it was mostly the worst of times. As we bid adieu to 2011, we take a look back at the 200 or so feature length movies that were released from the Hollywood machine, a gathering of celluloid so apt at spectacle yet so unspectacular that I can remember only movie poster scenes or snippets from sensational trailers, but nothing of the movies themselves.
This was the year when only two out of top 10 grossing movies were originals and not parts of a series. Wikipedia even reports that this year was notable because it contained the release of the most film sequels ever: 28. That doesn’t even take into account the numerous remakes, spinoffs, takeoffs, prequels, re-envisionings and adaptations from books, TV series and games, both video and board.
All told, the top 10 movies earned more than $7.5 billion around the world and I would bet that same amount of money that none of them will find an Oscar for best directing, acting, or writing among them come February 26, 2012.
Still, it was an interesting year and we will likely not see the beginning of a similar assortment of cinematic offerings for at least another four days.
There was an expected deluge of alien invasion movies. There was Aaron Eckhart taking the army to the frontline beaches of California in Battle: Los Angeles while Harrison Ford went to the wild, wild west to deal with Cowboys and Aliens. Apollo 18 took the cinéma vérité approach to fake video documentary of a failed space mission due to extraterrestrial interference.
Paul and Super 8 were probably my favourites of the lot, the first being a goofy homage to sci-fi stories of the third kind while the second was more of a straight up touching tribute and salute to those same films while taking the audience on a ride down memory lane through the 1970s at the same time. The Thing was great also, with all of the horrific special effects that you would expect but none of the disappointment of a modern take on a prequel to the Kurt Russell classic.
There were lots of comic book superhero movies as well. Too many, if you ask me. Is anyone out there able to tell the difference between the Green Hornet and the Green Lantern? Does it even matter? Both were green in terms of low levels of experience or ripeness. Mostly, they just made me feel green, as in seasickness. X-Men: First Class should have kept my interest but it only turned me off with poor characterizations and a silly story.
These kinds of movies keep popping up with increasingly less credible source material. Does Priest even count in the same category? Captain America sure, but did anybody care to watch this guy wield a shield while he fought fields of Nazis? Thor as a Norse handyman with a heavy hammer? What exactly was the conflict that he had with Loki? Anyone figure that one out? Both of these were just sad excuses to ham-handedly introduce characters before they come together along with a cast of others for next year’s The Avengers. I, for one, can wait.
In the end, I watched more than 50 movies and could only vouch for Rango, Super 8, The Adventures of Tintin, Winnie the Pooh, The Muppets and The Thing.
I had hoped to put Hugo, The Artist, My Week with Marilyn, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on my list but I haven’t seen them yet. I should add Bridesmaids and The Help as well, both sleeper hits in their own rights.
In exchange, I wish that I could unsee Transformers: Dark of the Moon and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I don’t even remember them anyway. I would have been happier, I think, with The Descendants, Shame or even A Dangerous Method.
I can, however, tell you to stay far away from Bad Teacher, No Strings Attached, New Year’s Eve, and Sucker Punch. Bad Teacher was so bad that it actually put a strain on my ability to review movies because it created a level of badness that I wasn’t able to accurately describe. It stinked, it stanked, it stunk!
I was sadly disappointed with Immortals and Young Adult, both from filmmakers I respected. Notice the past tense of ‘respected.’ I was gladly amazed with how surprisingly good Our Idiot Brother, 50/50, and The Thing were. I expected them to be bland and ‘bottom of the barrel’ bad. I’m quite happy to be wrong sometimes.
I only used the phrase ‘snoozefest’ once this year. Tower Heist had all of the elements of a comedic look at working folks taking back money and power from a Bernie Madoff-type bamboozler on Wall Street. Somehow, not even Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, and Matthew Broderick could save this dud from hitting the sidewalk with a dull thud.
This was the year that I returned to the Edmonton International Film Festival to be pleasantly surprised by one movie and sadly put off by another. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil was just about the funniest rustic horror movie that I’ve ever seen. Filmed in Alberta, it’s about two well-meaning yokels who have a series of run-ins with some vacationing college students who mistake them for, well, axe murderers. Manifest destiny revs up its chainsaw in this spot-on spoof.
On the other hand, The Lie is about a guy who comes up with a lie and it turns his world upside down. He’s a new father but he’s struggling to relate to his wife, and he can’t stand his job. Everyday, he makes up a new excuse to get out of work. One day, his excuse goes too far and he can’t retract the damage. Great cinematography but considering he doesn’t learn anything from the big lie he tells, there’s really no point whatsoever to watching this unpleasant drivel.
After all of this, the good news is that it’s all over, and that we don’t have to worry about a new edition of Saw or Paranormal Activity to come out around Halloween. Thank goodness for that.
