Connecting the dots

His personal story never improves in its telling but it works hard to improve other people’s stories.

When former NHLer and child sexual abuse survivor Sheldon Kennedy comes to the Arden Theatre on March 22, he will share a tragic part of his own life with the audience. It’s his hope that his words will fall on the ears of someone who really needs to hear it. It’s one of the big reasons why he continues to tell his story.

It’s because there is always someone out there who needs to know that the pain can stop and they can get help. Those are the people he’s talking to.

“I hear from people everyday. People know. I can tell when people come up and just say, ‘thank you’ whether they’ve had something happen to them or somebody that they know,” he said. “It gives them an opportunity to know that they’re not alone.”

Kennedy had a successful professional NHL hockey career, something that is not to be overlooked. It helped lead to his current career, after all. His work ever since he retired more than 15 years ago has had a much more profound and personal effect on so many that it’s impossible to sideline it to anything else.

Being a sports champion is one thing but becoming this vocal advocate is what has made him a real hero to many. He co-founded Respect Group 13 years ago to offer programs geared toward the prevention of abuse, bullying and harassment. This training, he noted, is mandatory for coaches and parents involved in all kids’ sports across the country.

“We train hundreds of thousands of people to make them aware, to make good people better, to empower the bystander,” he explained.

That training involves education on what abuse and harassment is, what people’s obligations are, how to recognize and respond, and where to go. “Our best defence,” he says, “is knowledge.”

“My belief is that the high percentage of people want to do the right thing and a lot of times, they just don’t know what to do. These issues are scary. A lot of times, the individual we’re looking at is either very close or a family member of the child … or somebody that’s put themselves in a strong position of power within your community or your organization. They’re very difficult.”

“It’s a lot easier to nab somebody that’s jumped out from behind a random attack than it is these things. That’s what makes it difficult. We have to deal with it.”

But his work hasn’t stopped there. His 2006 autobiography, Why I Didn't Say Anything, detailed the years of abuse that he endured at the hands of his former junior hockey coach.

He wasn’t alone.

Four years ago, he opened the Sheldon Kennedy Child Advocacy Centre, a partnership of professionals from the police, Alberta Health Services, Child and Family Services, Alberta Education as well as crown prosecutors and other community organizations and governmental departments all at the table. Together, they work to support children who have been traumatized while also publicly advocating for more awareness and more ways to prevent the abuses of others.

It’s one of three such child and youth advocacy centres across Alberta, along with Edmonton’s Zebra Child Protection Centre and the Caribou centre in Grande Prairie. There are only 25 in the country.

“We do 150 investigations every month,” he said, referring to cases of everything from emotional, physical and sexual abuses to neglect that come through the centre’s doors. “We’ve had almost 5,500 kids through our centre.”

Through these investigations, the centre has produced statistics that 98 per cent of the kids know their abuser and 47 per cent of them are abused by a parent or caregiver. Most of the kids that come through the centre are aged 4 to 12.

He said that it’s great to be helping so many through this work. He knows that they’re only skimming the surface though.

A big part of the problem is within the system itself. He’s pleased that the Alberta government passed the Children First Act to improve the security, education, health, safety and well being of children and youth in the province. That’s just the first step, because our systems have been built to deal with the outer layer of the onion, waiting until there’s a crisis before taking action, he says.

“For some reason, when we look at communities, there’s that disconnect between children’s services and adult services. Meanwhile, the children’s services is the feeder system to the adult services for a high percentage of them. That’s what we’re trying to do, is connect the dots and have systemic shift within the systems that do this work.”

Perpetrators operate on organizational, community and societal indifference and ignorance, he continued. “The biggest thing, I think, there’s a lack of knowledge and understanding of the impact of this type of event.”

“Until we recognize that, and understand that, and look at it as a major problem and a priority, we will always get these lacklustre efforts. I think there’s a shift that’s happening. We’re starting to understand the real importance of early intervention and prevention. We’ve come a long ways.”

To spread his message farther, he recently also appeared in the documentary called Swift Current. It looks at his early years when he was being abused and examined the psychological impact that it had on him. Despite his athletic talents that made it look like he was on the road to success, he became self-destructive and developed a drug dependency.

Director Joshua RofĂ© explained that the kind of childhood abuse that Kennedy endured was horrific but not uncommon. It’s a story that still needs a wider audience.

“I thought Sheldon's story was as vital today as ever before, and after speaking with him, it was clear that his story had never been fully told. Sexual abuse affects an estimated one out of four people directly, not to mention all of the collateral damage that then spreads even further,” he began.

“Not only do we need to talk about these issues but we need to do something. Kids and adults need to be better educated about sexual abuse and its lasting impacts on the brain and psyche. Since the film has been released I've heard from countless people, from strangers who reach out via social media to friends of mine, who all expressed that this film told a part of their own stories that they had previously never seen in such an honest and raw way. That was as great a response as one can ever hope to receive.”

A preview of the film will be screened during Kennedy’s presentation. The event takes place on Wednesday, March 22 from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. at the Arden Theatre. Tickets are $25 and can be purchased at the theatre’s box office or online at www.ticketmaster.ca.