Life can move quickly, but not always in the right direction. Sometimes, quick isn’t a good thing.
For James BelRose, who was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, life moved way too quickly.
“Everything progressed very quickly,” said his daughter Starla Tabacu. “His battle lasted only 13 months. It was a very difficult time for our family.”
As his cancer spread to his brain it became harder for him to continue to be himself.
“As the oldest in my family, I felt a huge responsibility to make sure everyone else was OK,” said Tabacu. “My husband worked away for almost all of the month, and my mom was in shock through most of his battle. It was hard.”
With his battle taking more of a toll on his body, it became harder for his family to see him.
“The last three weeks of his life, I decided that my kids shouldn’t see him like that,” said Tabacu.
With her father's time nearly at an end, Tabacu made one last visit.
“The last time I saw him was four days before his passing,” said Tabacu. “I spent the day with him, just him and I. He had been suffering immensely, and everyone had already come to say goodbye to him. I told him he was OK to go now. I just didn’t want him to be in pain anymore.”
Four days later, on April 1, 2011, he died.
Now, over 14 years later, while the pain is still real, Tabacu understands it's still important to remember her father for who he was.
“Never stop talking about them,” said Tabacu.
BelRose was very close with his family, including his two grandchildren, who were only 10 and eight years old when he died.
“You have to relive the old memories, and tell stories," Tabacu said. "I tell my boys all the time how proud their 'Papa' would be of them every chance I can.”
Everyone deals with grief in their own ways, but she knows it's important for people to remember they don’t have to go through it alone.
If you’re struggling with loss, you can visit the Canadian Cancer Society website for support.
