When I was seven, I was shy. I never wanted to draw attention. Maybe that’s why the boys at school liked to pick on me.
There was one freckled boy who tormented me for weeks. He would stop me on my way home from school and push and shove me until I cried. He would stretch his arms out wide and wouldn’t let me pass.
Fear wasn’t the worst part of being bullied, it was the shame. That inner voice insisting I was weak and helpless.
When my father noticed something was wrong, he pulled me close. He didn’t hesitate to teach me how to defend myself. He told me that small things have the power to move larger ones, so long as they’re faster. He also taught me how to twist someone’s arm. So one day, I fought back.
I remember the shock on the boy’s face after I shoved him against the wall, his freckled nose almost touching mine. He never bothered me again.
Girls shouldn’t fight, or at least that’s what society expects. My family taught me to not accept abuse or violence, to stand up for myself.
Some bullies grow into good men. Others do not. They still make women feel helpless. I have experienced sexual harassment on several occasions. But when it happened, I knew that I wasn’t weak and that it wasn’t my fault. Today, I know I can ask for help and I am prepared to push back.
The allegations against former CBC Host Jian Ghomeshi have rekindled the old discussion of physical and sexual violence toward women. Many have expressed opinions on the question of consent and respect, but no one wants to admit that violent people will always be there. Awareness won’t cure every bad apple.
Just as my father gave me the means to defend myself as a child, we have a responsibility to empower other girls and women to stand up to bullies and fight against abuse.
