I have this friend … she revealed that Christmas once held a warm, bright place in her heart, but her feelings have been flagging seriously in recent years. I share this, because I suspect she is not alone.
Gratefully, she’s waking from her Scrooge-like stupor and is attempting to rescue herself from a future of dreaded Christmas times. To that end, she ponders ...What brings it meaning? What saps the pleasure? Is it within her power to orchestrate a holiday that’s meaningful again?
The word ‘holiday’ is derived from Old English halig (holy) and daeg (day). It can be interpreted as both ‘religious festival’ and ‘day of recreation.’ Bearing this in mind, will she be able to ‘re-create’ a fulfilling experience?
Whether one’s holiday blues stem from the loss of a loved one, or a misguided approach to celebrating the holidays, the restoration of meaning can look the same.
Stepping back from the barrage of retail messages launched at us the moment Halloween is packed away isn't easy. Many of us have become habituated to the busy, materialistic and taxing style of the mass media Christmas.
Fortunately, this darker time of winter solstice offers an opportunity for quiet introspection. We can slow down and get centred by asking what we feel and what we really need this season. Deep breathing, journaling or sharing with a trusted friend can help us discern this. It can also help us to map the way for a new, fulfilling experience and to stay the course in the face of the inevitable pressures to step back into the noise. My buddy now recognizes that a quiet space to recharge is essential to ‘filling her cup.’ Taking this time enables her to be more present, more loving and giving in the time she shares with others.
From here, teasing out the elements of Christmas to determine which ones fulfil us can be enlightening for Christians and non-Christians alike. For people who celebrate the birth of Jesus (Christ’s Mass), attending a religious service or creating a meaningful personal ritual may be restorative. Many other elements have become traditional at Christmas: decorative lights and candles, traditional music, a real tree to smell, gathering with loved ones. My friend enjoys these things as well as singing carols and spending time outdoors revelling in the snowy landscape.
The common challenge of connecting with extended family still confounds many, but she suspects there are ways to engage without relinquishing the holiday spirit. After all, solutions to discomfort about materialism were amended by saving gift giving for the children. Discomfort around excessive packaging was addressed by wrapping gifts sustainably with holiday fabric purchased on sale last year. It’s possible sandwiching challenging family experiences with uplifting activities (or non-activities) and having a supportive friend with whom to debrief could help manage the angst and anxiety of some family gatherings.
We can navigate this challenging holiday triumphantly if we are willing to take time to reflect on how we want to experience this time of year. Listening to our hearts, honouring our needs, sharing with others, and creatively establishing rituals and traditions that are meaningful to us can all bring us from darkness into the light of the season. Questioning the status quo is an act of bravery, which may well offer inspiration and permission for others to revitalize their holidays too. Happy holidays! Really.
Jill Cunningham grew up in St Albert, has a Bachelor of Education from University of Alberta and is passionate about nature, the environment, and building community.
