Normally, I try to include a little humour in these columns. In fact, my wife recently mentioned that I hit the mark every time, as “there is precious little humour in any of your columns.” However, a few events occurred during December, and I think you’ll understand why I’m in such a sombre mood.
In December, St. Albert lost two wonderful individuals, people I’ve known for many years. The people I’m referring to are Bob Dempster and his daughter Sharon. Ironically, both of these citizens died on the same day, with Bob passing first at 1 a.m. and Sharon dying about 10 hours later on the same day. If there is to be any solace found in these events, it must be the fact that Bob died not knowing his daughter would also die later in the day, while Sharon passed on never knowing her father died earlier in the day.
These were two remarkable people, and I’d like to tell you a little about both of them. Bob was born in Toronto, but as a member of the RCMP he was transferred to Edmonton in the late 1970s. At that time, his daughter Sharon was in high school here in St. Albert. While Sharon had been diagnosed with muscular dystrophy when she was just a child, it was only as she finished her teen years that the crushing symptoms of MD began to appear. As you likely know, MD is a progressive disease that slowly damages the muscles in the body. There is no cure and this progression eventually leads to death.
Despite this bleak forecast, Sharon graduated high school, went on to earn two separate university degrees, launched herself into a new career, got married, and bore two delightful daughters. Over the years Sharon grew progressively thinner and weaker, yet her desire to live and raise her daughters was so strong that it appeared for a while as if MD had finally met its match. The disease seldom slowed her down, as she religiously attended her daughter’s events and classes, yet somehow also found the time to be the consummate volunteer.
As the heart is, of course, a muscle, by the late 1990s Sharon found that her heart could no longer overcome the daily pressures and she underwent a heart transplant. While the transplant was successful, this did not slow the MD attacks on the rest of her body. Through it all, Bob was at her side, giving up countless opportunities and promotions with the RCMP in order to be with his daughter. An illness in any family, especially one that progresses for years on end, is often as difficult on the rest of the family as it is on the patient. Yet through it all, Bob was a pillar of strength and hope.
By now, I’m sure you’re saying to yourselves that many families have gone through similar ordeals, either with MD, or other crippling diseases, and you would be right. However, I doubt many showed the strength of will, the determination, and the positive focus that these two individuals displayed on a daily basis.
I knew both of them for close to thirty years and in that time I do not remember either of them complaining about their situation, ever, not once. Think about this for a minute — not a single complaint, ever! Most of us witness, daily, some individual whining about their situation, their health, their wealth, or a thousand other items.
Yet, despite enduring conditions that were far, far harsher than most of us can imagine, neither Bob nor Sharon ever felt sorry for themselves, and refused to let others feel sorry for them. In living, Bob and Sharon set a powerful example for all of us as to what’s best about the human race, and in dying, reminded us, as Abraham Lincoln noted, of the dignity and majesty of “the angels of our better nature.”
Bob always greeted Brian with “hello, young fellow,” which, at Brian’s advanced age, he is unlikely to ever hear again.
