I realize that many St. Albert residents are upset with council’s decision to open up a coffee franchise, and I think that many of their points are intelligent and important to this debate. However, I am not one of these upset citizens, rather I fully and enthusiastically support council on this important issue.
Now I am not a real coffee fanatic but I appreciate that many people are, and these users desperately need a continuous source of this ‘water of life.’ In addition, many of these users are coffee connoisseurs and not having a ready supply of premium quality coffee creates the same anxiety as with the smoker who runs out of cigarettes, or the drug addict who finds himself alone and with no drugs in sight.
I applaud council for not only recognizing the lack of premium coffee at Servus Place, but also for taking such quick and bold steps to solve the problem. However, I do fault council for not properly identifying other product shortages in our community and working to resolve these shortages as well.
For example, with all due respect to the local merchants in our city, I haven’t found what I consider to be a real high quality store specializing in devil worshipping supplies. As everyone on council knows, devil worshipping is a complex process and requires numerous potions and products. I find myself growing weary with the long distances I must drive to acquire all these items. But it’s not just devil worshipping supplies. My buddy is hooked on Ethiopian cooking and he angrily pointed out that he is unable to find a single Ethiopian restaurant in St. Albert — be it premium quality or low quality. His wife is annoyed that St. Albert doesn’t have a Louis Vuitton store, my neighbour gave up trying to find a good Maserati dealership months ago and another friend is threatening to leave town unless he can find a local source for buggy whips and harpoons.
In fact, when one considers all the necessities of life, St. Albert has a glaring problem. For example, where do we go to buy a parachute, a forklift, authentic Bolivian deep-fried gophers, rocket-propelled grenades, nuclear fuel, a pet Komodo dragon or a submarine? I could go on, but I think you get the point. Our council has been woefully negligent in not addressing these product shortages and action must be taken.
I realize some of you may question whether the city is really capable of managing all these businesses, but I do not share your concerns. My confidence comes from seeing how the city has managed waste removal over the years. Long ago many of us thought that waste removal involved two steps: we set out the garbage and the garbage truck picked it up. How wrong we were. In the course of a few short decades, the city has managed to create the most complex waste collection regime on this planet. If our city administration can build a garbage collection program so complicated that only a few Mensa members can comprehend how it works, then I see them having no difficulties in running a multitude of retail stores.
Come on, Mr. Mayor, today it’s coffee, tomorrow it could be cabinets, cafĂ©s, cages, carpets, caskets, cars, cats (and dogs), catapults, cattle, clarinets, cocaine, cognac and crocodiles.
(Brian does congratulate council for ensuring there are multiple stores selling scotch).
