Normally I enjoy this time of year, and the opportunity to send you my wishes for a Merry Christmas, or a happy holiday (depending on your persuasion), and a safe and prosperous new year. While I am happy to send such greetings, I also do this with a very heavy heart, for if the prognosticators are correct, this will be the last Christmas for all of mankind.
By now I suspect that most of you have heard the predictions, based on ancient Mayan carvings, predictions that the world is coming to an end in December 2012. Apparently this Mayan prediction corresponds to a period of time in which the Earth will be in perfect alignment with the galactic core of our galaxy. Now, of course, there are a few “no doom mongers” that question why the alignment of the Earth with our galaxy’s core, some 80 million light years away, would have any impact on planet Earth. Further, they point out that this event occurs every 25,000 years, so in the lifetime of Earth, this same event has already occurred more than 100,000 times, yet the Earth is still here.
For me, this is just more of the same typical attention-getters running around with their signs that the “End is Not Near”, or similar baloney. These “nattering nabobs of negativism” (thanks, Spiro Agnew) go even further and point out that the Mayan carvings do not say the end of the Earth, they only indicate that 2012 is the end of their ‘current era.’ If this is accurate, then these so-called experts are suggesting that we’ve all gotten worked up about a carving that only suggests, to use a more modern term, that we are nearing the end of the jazz era.
If this end of days prediction was a Mayan forecast only, I could be convinced that the Mayans got it wrong, but we are being told that other cultures, other religions and other forecasters have also predicted the same event, and in the same time frame. For example, friends have advised me that the medieval prophet, Nostradamus, predicted the “end of man when the years match the hand.” Initially, I wasn’t sure what this meant, but they explained it to me: the hand has five fingers. When we add up the numbers in the year 2012, we also get five — confirmation that Nostradamus was saying the world would end in 2012.
Once these predictions get explained by the experts, it becomes almost brain-dead obvious what the prophet was trying to say. Of course, all those idiots who are demonstrating that the world will not end point out that Nostradamus also predicted that Don Cherry would be elected as prime minister of Canada, and that the Chicago Bears would cover the spread and win Super Bowl 40. Again, I suspect people simply didn’t translate his writings correctly.
Even more convincing is the fact that the number 12, (an obvious reference to 2012) appears with alarming frequency in the written records of virtually all civilizations. There are 12 eggs in a dozen, 12 signs of the zodiac, Ezekiel had 12 wives and there are 12 major league baseball teams that have never won the World Series. I could give countless other examples but suffice it to say that 12 appears throughout history.
The scariest number of all simply has to be, as Revelations tells us, the number of the beast: 666. When you consider the number 666, it quickly becomes obvious that the number 12 can be generated in three different ways using this same simple number. Incredible. For me, it’s case closed.
I conclude with best wishes to you for safe and happy holidays. Yikes — I just realized that there are exactly 12 words in the last sentence. This prediction is everywhere! Even worse, there are 666 words in this entire article!
(Brian reminds friends and family this may be the last opportunity they have to give him Christmas presents, so please shop early and often).
