Bullying is an adult issue too
| Posted: Wednesday, Sep 04, 2013 03:16 pm
In the Gazette, Saturday, Aug 17th issue you state that bullying is here to stay, and getting worse. You identify the superficiality of social media, lack of attention from parents, and lack of consequences as the primary culprits.
While it is certainly true that these things contribute, the psychological reality is, the experts final word is, that children learn what they see and experience, and what they see and experience is, from day one, a violent and bullying world.
Parents hit, yell at, push around, speak down to, and speak in aggressive and belittling tones to their children and their spouses.
Our teachers isolate, exclude, rank, punish, and dismiss. Our police use clubs and guns. Our politicians send armies off to war. Our media glorify violence. Our games make beating and killing out to be fun. Our priests speak about the violence of hell and God in the heaven is the worst of all, threatening the violence of eternal damnation just because you don't follow some rules.
Justify and excuse it all you like, but the reality is, it is our collective violence, our psychological acceptance of it, and our ideological justification of it, that is the root of, and the model for, the bullying child. And while it is certainly true that parents need to "go out of their way to teach their kids that such behaviour is not acceptable," the lesson starts with the actions and behaviours of the adults of this world.
You want to reduce the problem of bullying, you want to end intimate violence, you must recognize the physical, emotional, psychological, and even spiritual violence in your life and end it there first.
Dr. Mike Sosteric, Sturgeon County